Since we are a few episodes into the podcast I wanted to take some time to have you all get to know me and my journey a little more. So as you know, my name is Sam. I have been married for 12 years and we have two young boys. They are six and eight. I really want to focus on how this journey started for me because I know what it’s like to be a new mom, to be super busy, and to want to have health goals.
I know sometimes we are a little nervous or really not sure where to start. I know this because I’ve been there. I’ve been you. I work full time as a kindergarten reading specialist. So on top of doing all of this, I do have a full time job being a teacher and it is extremely rewarding but is also time consuming and so is being a mom so I understand having that busy schedule and having all of these goals and putting so many expectations on myself. And sometimes it’s just hard to hit them all.
So how did this all start? I really wanted to share with you my story of having kids and trying to get back to the gym and focusing on myself. I started back at the gym after I had my first son, who is eight. After that pregnancy I decided to join my husband at the local CrossFit gym that he had joined. I had been involved with the gym through him. So I would go with him sometimes just to hang out and I’ve met the people there so it wasn’t like walking completely into an unfamiliar space. But I was nervous. I had just had a baby and was cleared to go to the gym by my doctor, by the way you should be too. But walking back into the gym was hard.
Growing up I was always into some kind of fitness. I liked to move and I played sports my whole life so it wasn’t completely unfamiliar to me to workout. But I wasn’t feeling my best, I just had a baby. Everything was completely different and life was changing. I was really nervous and it took a lot for me to walk into that gym. I really put it off if I’m going to be honest. Finally I asked one of the girls that I had met there if she would come with me to a Sunday class because in our gym on Sundays you would workout with a partner. I needed some additional support, not just from my husband, but from somebody else, a friend. She agreed, and we went, and I was terrified, but you know what? I did it and it was fun. I loved it though I was still nervous about going forward.
I was at this gym surrounded by people who were in complete shape and they looked awesome and they were lifting heavy weights and doing all these really cool things and I just didn’t want to be judged. I felt nervous and I’m just really hard on myself. It was hard to be there and not be able to do the things that I kind of expected myself to be able to do. I wanted to share all of those feelings with you because I’m sure you can relate to at least one of them. I know so many people who have a hard time going to a gym because they have all those feelings and they hold them back.
I would like to give you little pieces of advice or tips that I found to kind of make it a little bit easier for you, even if it’s not to go to a gym and it’s just to get back to working out and you’re going to work out from home. You might be nervous about that. Even so, when you are starting on this journey again, whether it be after you have a baby or you just want to start from scratch and you haven’t worked out in years or you haven’t worked out ever, these will help you.
Want To Achieve Your Goals? Make Sure They’re Realistic!
Set realistic goals. One of the things I told you was that I was really hard on myself and I had the expectation that I should be able to do way more than I was doing. We need to get rid of those expectations. You need to set realistic goals. I was looking at it as I had been in shape for most of my life. Then I had a baby and I expected myself to be able to jump back in and run at the same speed that I was doing, or even run at the same distance that I was running. But that wasn’t realistic. I can’t expect myself to go from zero to 100 right away, and you need to set realistic goals for yourself. You need to make it easier for yourself.
If you’re not working out at all, don’t set a goal that you’re going to go to the gym six days a week. You’re not, it’s going to be too hard and overwhelming. Start smaller goals, just like we had spoken in previous episodes about building habits. We have to start small. Don’t set a goal that you’re going to run a 6 minute mile after the first month. Most likely that is not realistic and if you can do that, well, kudos to you because I still can’t do that.
Your goals can be around fitness or weight loss. Don’t expect that you are going to lose 25 pounds the first month that you’re at the gym. You’re not, it’s just not realistic. When you set these big goals that are not realistic, you’re setting yourself up to fail. We don’t want you to fail, I want you to succeed.
Focusing On The Positive Can Help You Achieve Your Goals
Let’s try to focus on the positive. I wish I could go back to myself eight years ago and focus on this tip because I didn’t have that tip. I was spending my time focusing on all the things that I couldn’t do and how I didn’t look the same as everybody that was there and that I was struggling more than everybody was at the gym. And all the time I should have been focusing on wow, I’m an awesome mom and I am in this gym and I am doing it. I am putting in hard work and I am trying my best to make good choices and balance. Those are the things you need to focus on, give yourself credit. Don’t focus on the negative, focus on the positive.
Tell yourself a few positive things every single morning. Look in the mirror when you’re brushing your teeth and say something nice about yourself.
You’re Not Alone: Find A Friend For Support
Something else that really helped me was finding a friend who can help support me. I had my husband going to the gym already. And yes, that was helpful, but it was not the same thing as having a girlfriend there who was going to help me out and who could relate to me. Find somebody in the same position as you, who might be able to kind of understand everything that you’re going through.
The Challenges
There were also challenges that I had being a new mom and starting this new health and wellness journey. The biggest challenge that I had being a new mom, working full time and now trying to add going to the gym and focusing on my health, was time management. I can tell you just from 8 years of being in this lifestyle this is one of the biggest challenges I see across the board for everyone. Whether they have kids or they don’t have kids finding time to get it all in is huge. My biggest piece of advice for you is to schedule. I am a big planner. I have to plan things out because if I don’t it isn’t going to happen. When I was a new mom, I would come home from work and head to the gym. I had the luxury of being able to take my son in his little infant carrier to the gym with me. It turned out another mom there had a son 10 weeks after I did. We would bring our kids to the gym and they would sit in their little infant carriers together and we would do our workout. So one, you could bring your child with you to the gym. Secondly, you might have to arrange help. I would have to check in with my husband or have our parents come and watch the baby. You have to kind of figure it out.
This is not something that you’re going to just casually do. You aren’t going to come home from work and be like, hmm, I want to go to the gym at 5. How do I make it work? If you leave it up to the last minute, you’re not going to make it work. You’re going to get completely overwhelmed and say, forget it. But having a plan is going to make it so much easier for you to be successful.
Another challenge I had was being too hard on myself. Everybody does it. Everybody is their own worst critic, right? So I judge myself so much harder than I would judge anybody else. That’s not OK though. We can’t do that to ourselves. We need to kind of let go of this perfection that we have. Because it is not helping us at all. When you are trying to get back into shape and focus on your health you’re not going to have perfection. I am eight years into this journey. There is no perfection. I can strive for it all I want but there is no perfect so forget. It let it go. Whenever you find yourself talking down to yourself or getting in a bad mindset I want you to stop for a second and think to yourself if I heard my friend saying all of these things, how would I respond to them? Would you say all the negative things that you’re saying to yourself? No, you wouldn’t. You would encourage them and tell them you know what, sometimes life is hard and you’re going to be OK! You need to talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend.
I know I had a big focus here about going back to the gym and getting back into health after having a baby. And I know that it’s not going to apply to everybody here, but a lot of the tips can work for you whether you had a baby or not. So please don’t dismiss them just because you aren’t a mom or you don’t have the same scenario that I had. I just wanted to come on and share with you my story because. I wanted you to know more about me and I wanted you to know where I came from in this journey and that it wasn’t always easy. I am eight years into this journey, so if you’re just starting, don’t compare my year eight with your year one. It’s just not going to be the same.
