Today we are talking about a really important topic. We are going to be diving in on tips for adding in self-care into your busy mom schedule. And don’t laugh because you can make time if you really work at. Adding in that self-care is so important, probably more important than you even realize. So I want to share these tips with you.
Something I have learned is that everyone always seems to have suggestions or tips for new moms, right? Think back to when you were pregnant. How many people offered you advice whether you asked for it or not, right? People always wants to tell you things that they did that were successful or that that helped them, and all of those are great, for the most part. But something that I’ve noticed is no one really prepares you for how busy your schedule is actually going to be. We don’t really kind of talk about that.
I don’t know about you, but I have not had one person within my 2 pregnancies really sit down and give me tips on how to manage my time. It’s really not something people talk about.
Yet I think they should. So I also want to say that I understand that whatever is on my schedule, I allowed to be there. And that’s a really important point that I want to make to you before we dive into these tips to help you make some more time. Nothing is on your calendar or your schedule that you didn’t allow to be there and I know that doesn’t make you have more time in your day, but it really helps put things into perspective.
I know that I am so busy and yet I’m allowing all of these tasks to be on my schedule, to make myself busy, but I want to make time for myself, I want to make time for my family and I want my kids to have great experiences. I want them to be part of things and in order to be part of things I have to be a little busy. I had to find a balance between activities for them, activities for myself and activities for a family as a whole to make sure that I was still able to take care of myself because I need to do that. That has to be a priority, and it needs to be a priority for you as well.
If it hasn’t been up until this point, well then you need to start making yourself a priority.
I know we’ve all heard the quotes and there’s like great ones on Pinterest that say you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. I’m not dismissing them because they’re fantastic and I’ve probably posted quotes just like it. But you need to really focus on yourself. You have to be able to make yourself healthy enough between your body and your mind. And I know it’s not easy. I know it’s a struggle and I know you might be sitting there listening to this going well, I don’t even have an extra 3 minutes in my day.
I get it, because I’ve been there, I’ve been you.
I’ve had no extra time. There are still so many days that I have no extra time and I understand that. But when I really sit down and think about it, when I sit down and schedule in that time or I am intentional about it, I can make it happen, but I actually have to work for it. And you might have to also, but it can be done.
So let’s dive into these tips, because I really feel they’re important for moms to really understand how to do this.
#01 Put It In The Calendar
The biggest tip that I can offer you is to schedule your time for yourself. Put the self care time into your calendar. Yep, right in that planner, add a cute little sticker next to it, “me time or workout or massage”. Whatever it is that you’re going to do for yourself. Just add it into your schedule. That’s it. Put it in that planner, just like you would your doctor’s appointment or just like you would your kids soccer practice.
You’re not going to look at your planner and say, “Oh, my son has soccer practice today.
Nah, I’m going to skip that.” You’re not! You’re going to bust your ass to make sure everything is ready and that you’re all there. You need to treat yourself the exact same way you do every other obligation you put into your planner, so start putting them in there.
#02 Ask For Help!
Ask for help. I know, I know. It’s not always fun. We like to feel like we can do it all by ourselves, but sometimes we can’t, and that’s OK. I know that was a really big struggle for me. Know that
as I’m giving you the advice to ask for help, know that I struggle with this tip too. I’m not always good at asking for help. Sometimes I just try to like power through everything and then I’m like 3/4 of the way in and realize man, I should have asked for help because I am struggling now, so do it before that.
Ask for help. If you have a partner, ask them maybe they could pick up the kids for you or a friend or relative! Don’t think that you’re in this alone. You have people around you that will help you, even if they are not asking you or telling you every single day.
I bet you you can think of one person, if you ask for a little favor, they would do it for you. I know
for myself last year at my kids’ school I missed their pick up time by 5 minutes. I would be 5 minutes late to pick up and I was paying for aftercare which was like $20 a day for both of my kids to go to aftercare for 5 minutes.
And you know what? Instead of doing it for another year, I reached out to a friend and said, “Hey, I know you’re going to be at the school anyway, can you take my kids for me for those five minutes and I will meet you at the school? And they said. “YES!”
I asked for help because you know what? I can’t do everything and sometimes you just have to reach out and ask for that assistance. Don’t downplay that tip. Ask for help.
#03 Diet, Nutrition, Mindset
The third tip is you need to take care of yourself. Now, I know you know that, and I know we’re here to discuss ways to do that but you need to pay attention to your nutrition and exercise. Also your mind but today I want to focus on the others.
I want you to start eating better. You don’t need extra time in your day to eat better. You don’t need to drive through a fast food restaurant, make yourself a salad or plan ahead and batch cook a couple of meals on the weekend so during the week you can make healthier choices.
When you start eating better, you’re going to feel better inside. You also need to increase your movement. Even if you have to take the kids with you, go for a walk. When you get outside in that fresh air, you’re going to feel better.
Don’t sit back. You need to take action, you need to eat better, and you need to move more.
Since I threw in quickly that you need your mindset to be right also, practice some gratitude while you’re at it. Look in the mirror every morning while you’re brushing your teeth and say some nice things about yourself, even if it’s just one thing every single day. Take that time to focus on you, because it’s really going to make a difference.
#04 Learn To Say No
I have one more tip for you and it’s a really, really powerful one, so I hope you’re ready. I want you to learn how to say no.
I know a lot of the times you’re presented with things and you’re like, oh, I really don’t want to do that, but you feel like you have to.
Right. Well, guess what?
You don’t.
You don’t have to.
You don’t have to go to the birthday party, you don’t have to go to the PTA meeting every single month if you can’t. You don’t have to do a lot of things that you’re making yourself do because you feel like you have to. Now I’m not telling you to look into your bosses face in their office and tell them no, please don’t do that. I don’t need anybody calling me, telling me, well, you said… no, that’s not what I meant. I’m talking about extra obligations here.
Something I’ve heard in another podcast another time was if you’re presented with a situation and your initial response isn’t, hell yes, then it’s a no. It’s something that I started practicing in my own life and it made a world of difference. Just because I am invited to a party or an event or a playdate or anything, doesn’t mean I have to say yes.
Remember, in the beginning of my episode here, I told you that whatever is on my schedule.
I allowed to be there. Well, this is where that comes into play. You have the ability to say no, it’s just not something we’re usually good at. We usually feel obligated that we have to go to the party or we have to go to their event, but guess what? You don’t!
You don’t have to do it, and if you can’t do it, say no! Say no, nobody is going to make you do it.
A really good phrase that I’ve learned to say is, you know what one more, yes to you is a no to my family. You can’t argue with that. People are not going to be mad at you for that and if they are well then, tough you don’t really need them anyway.
Learn to say no. That will help you to get time for yourself because you need that time, you need that time to even just sit and watch TV. You need it. You need to be less stressed out and less overwhelmed. And let’s face it, fitting everything into our busy schedules is hard, and sometimes we can’t do it and I get it, but I want you to work on adding more time into your schedule for yourself.
So if you’re sitting here and you’re listening to this and you think all this sounds fantastic but you are really struggling with the action don’t expect that you are going to start with having no time for self-care to having like 30 to 40 minutes a day. Don’t expect that to be realistic. It’s not going to be. Maybe you start out with giving yourself 30 minutes a week and then build.
Just take these tips and try one at a time. Go slow, but the most important part is you have to make time for yourself. Nobody is going to make it for you. Nobody is going to show up at your doorstep and say you know, you really look like you could use some time alone. Let me just go and do all the things for you. That’s not going to happen. And if that happens for you, well, bravo to you, and I completely envy that.
But that doesn’t happen, I need to ask and I need to make it happen. I need to be intentional about my own self-care because I know if I want to actually have that self-care I need to go and work for it and I’m OK with that.
I have a free 30 day self care challenge waiting and ready for you! Click the button below to get started! See you there!
